Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
