Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
