I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
