You can't motorboat a personality
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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