i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
