Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
