no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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