did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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