This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You can't just leave with hair like that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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