I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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