I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
