we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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