Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
