I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
