I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
