I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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