It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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