O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
