is your mom at the bar?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
