My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
