school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
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To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
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It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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