I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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