my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
