saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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