I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
