so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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