sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize