I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
