Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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