..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
