I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
do herpes really smell.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize