Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
