He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
