So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
