There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
