I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
