I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize