Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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