I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
