I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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