just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I skipped work to stalk him.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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