I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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