Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
