she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
