I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
