We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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