you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
