i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
