just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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