these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Your mouth is God's brothel.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
