Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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