Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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