i just wanna soil my oats bro
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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