i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
